What's Words Got to Do With It?

[Nora]

This morning I had a flurry of email exchanges with my friend and mentor, Ed Bailey, a psychiatrist, researcher and all-around clever guy. One of us happened to say the phrase above--I don't recall who said it first. A few minutes later, this appeared in my inbox. I think it's brilliant. What do you think?

"What's Words Got To Do With It"

You might understand
That the sound of your words
Makes my brain react
That it’s only the thrill
My brain meeting yours
Words seem to attract

It’s physical
Only logical
Please now try to explain
What your words really mean

[Chorus]
Oh what’s words got to do, got to do with it
What’s words but a second hand abstraction
What’s words got to do, got to do with it
Who needs a word
When a word is just a token

It may seem to you
That I’m acting confused
When you talk to me
If I tend to look dazed
I’ve read it someplace
I’ve got cause for concern

There’s a name for it
There’s a definition that fits
But whatever the reason
I can’t understand what you mean

[Chorus]

I’ve been thinking of a more accurate direction
But I will now say
I’ve been thinking about my own protection
It scares me to think this way

What’s words got to do, got to do with it
What’s words but an ol’ secondhand abstraction
What’s words got to do, got to do with it.
Who needs a word when a word can be misspoken?

[Loel Shuler]

I suspect that understanding each other's metaphors may underlie a lot of "what words have to do with it" where friendship is concerned. When someone instantly recognizes your metaphor there's kind of an instant kinship.

[Nora]

I would certainly agree that Ed and I have formed a close association, and it happened pretty quickly. It helps that he has a genial, frank but non-judgmental personality, and prodigious interest in stuff I find interesting, like neuroscience. I have learned so much from him in the past couple of years, I can't tell you!

It also helps that he freely admits to not having the writing skills he would like, and has embraced my "tour guide" personality, welcoming my compulsive editing and rewriting of his insightful and interesting but not quite readable writing! As a team, we have now had three articles published, plus a few poster papers.

I don't know that I can exactly identify what triggers an "instant" friendship like this, but I know it when I feel it. For me, it happens more often when our words "click", when I find a person who understands what I say without my having to change my mode of conversation (ie, I can "be myself"). To me, friendship means more or less unconditional acceptance, so I can participate in the relationship without having to hold back parts of my deepest held beliefs because the other person might find them offensive or weird or boring.

[David Linwood]

Very Interesting.

I have noticed that certain people seem to form a "close association", although there is nothing you can definitely find in the words they interchange the "exact" reason for that "close" feeling. They may even seem, from a "logical" point of view to be rather contradictory in nature.

I suspect that the persons have come to respect one another, even "love" one another -- no matter if their world outlooks differ. That certainly happens more often when one can look beyond "mere words".

I think that kind of association has come to be called "friendship" -- not so?

David